How to Have a Productive Argument

Today I wanted to share an article that I found on Psychology Today that provides a great step-by-step process on how to have productive disagreements.  The author shares an approach that is based on NonViolent Communication (NVC).  According to their website, NVC “is based on the principles of nonviolence– the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart.”

The following is from the article Speaking While Upset: Moving from Destructive to Constructive in 6 Simple Steps:

“Let’s assume that you already know that trying to express your feelings and thoughts while you are physically and psychologically aroused (angry, exasperated, deeply disappointed) is unlikely to help you communicate productively (unless you count number of insults or volume level as part of your productivity quotient).”

“Let’s also assume that like me, you have adopted a number of “calming down” techniques (time out from the other person, breathing, going for a walk, standing on your head, eating chocolate, ok – I digress) before trying to talk with the person about what happened (or simply re-engaging with them at all).”

Click here to read the entire article.

If you find that you are struggling to communicate effectively with someone in your life, I strongly encourage you to read this article.  The article contains links with more information on NonViolent Communication and resources to help you.  Below I am providing a free worksheet which you may use as a tool to help you improve your communication with a loved one.

Free Resource
You may download for your use a free copy of the Empathy Worksheet that I created based on the article. See the link below:


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