Doesn’t it feel good when you’re able to hold onto the feeling that you had done a good job? You might have studied really hard and rocked out on your exam or finally kept up with your workout routine. You may have been able to find time just for you to relax and read your favorite book, or spend quality time with friends. Whatever the case, you know that you have just experienced a moment of grace. That where you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be and you can actually appreciate and enjoy that moment, without guilt!
For many of us, these moments are unfortunately few and far between.
Have you ever wondered how you found those moments of grace and what you could do to hold onto them?Have you ever wondered how you found those moments of grace and what you could do to hold onto… Click To Tweet
In my last article I introduced you to Ms. (Mr.) Critic. I shared some ways that you could recognize her, how she shows-up, and what she’s really trying to do. In case you missed it, please make sure you read the article here.
Today I want to share some strategies to help you combat Ms. Critic and reduce the influence she has over your life so that you can experience more moments of grace.
These moments of grace are brought to you courtesy of your nurturing figure. I like to call her Ms. Nurture for short.
Ms. Nurture is the exact opposite of Ms. Critic. She is warm, compassionate, & well, nurturing! She only has your best interests at heart. She often has a kind word to say and is quick to remind us of how valuable we are. She supports us by giving us words of encouragement and makes sure we’re practicing loving self-care.
I want to share three strategies to help you learn how to hear Ms. Nurture and silence Ms. Critic. These are just a few of several approaches available to you. They are designed to help you think a little differently so you can make better choices for yourself and your life. Use only the ones that are aligned for you.
Now, onto our strategies.
1. Change Your Language
The words we use to speak to ourselves have the power to create our experiences. Have you noticed that if you tell yourself you can’t do something then you can’t? The reality is that you don’t know if you can or can’t do something unless you try it. You took Ms. Critic’s word for it and just accepted what she said as true. What if you changed your language? Instead of saying “I can’t do it” say “I don’t know how to do it, but…” or “I’m not sure how to do it, but…” Even better you could say, “I can do this, I just need to figure out how to do it.” This language is more accurate, identifies what the barrier might be (i.e. how to do something) and includes the possibility of a different outcome (i.e. “but…” or “I can figure it out”).
Possibilities are our friends. This actually leads us to the next strategy.The words we use to speak to ourselves have the power to create our experiences. Click To Tweet
2. Change Your Perspective
When we look at something one way, we will only see one possible outcome. This keeps us stuck and believing that Ms. Critic’s perspective is the only right one. What if, instead of accepting what she says as true you challenge her? Her perspective is only one of several that could be equally, if not more true. One way to access these different perspective is to think about how you would encourage a friend. As women, we are quite awesome at providing words of encouragement and support to the people we love. The next time Ms. Critic tells you something negative, ask yourself, “What would I say to my best friend in response to that?”
This leads us to our third and final strategy.When we look at something one way, we will only see one possible outcome. Click To Tweet
3. Change Your Approach
Ms. Critic is very good at her job. She has spent years and years, learning just what to say to discourage you. She’s gotten so good that many of us believe what she has to say without question. As a result, she is quite confident that when she says A that you’ll do B. And of course B always lead to the same outcome; which is often some combination of bad feelings, anxiety/overwhelm, or an overall sense of discouragement.
If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results. What would happen if instead of automatically accepting what Ms. Critic said, you challenged her? What if when she started talking you pressed the mute button so that you could no longer hear her? What if when she invited you to talk you did something else instead? Try a different approach and you might be surprised by what happens!If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results. Click To Tweet
It’s definitely not easy to combat the internal critic (Ms. Critic), but the strategies shared above may help get you moving in the right direction.
What strategies have helped you silence your inner critic? Please share in the comments section below.
Thanks so much for stopping by today.
P.S. If you are interested in learning more about how to combat your inner critic and develop nurturing self-care practices please sign-up for my mailing list. I’m developing an online course now, to help with you address this exact challenge. I want to make sure that you are the first to know once this course is available!